You have to read this opinion piece!
It's brilliant. Honestly.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Rock N Roll
I love this. Everything about it is awesome. The red pops. And I'm not usually a fan of pin-up tatts. It's by Werni at Rock n Roll Tattoo in Baden. The art is by Adam Turman.
UPDATE: Actually is her left arm a bit...erm...funny?
UPDATE: Actually is her left arm a bit...erm...funny?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Drinking in the sun while smoking
Mr Boganette and I are sitting on the deck drinking bourbon, smoking and enjoying the sun.
Me: This sucks. We can't drink bourbon, smoke and sit in the sun.
Mr Boganette: Why?
Me: Because when we're old we'll get liver cancer, lung cancer or skin cancer.
Mr Boganette: Or all three. And probably not even when we're old. Probably soon.
Me: It's not fair.
Mr Boganette: .....
Me: Science needs to speed up and fix shit (I'd had a few bourbons)
Mr Boganette: No. If science fixed that shit they'd be too many people. Nobody would die. The planet would be over populated and there would be too many people. (He'd had a few bourbons)
Me: I suppose
Mr Boganette: If we die from smoking or drinking or spending too much time drinking and smoking in the sun then the planet survives. We are saving the planet.
Me: Cheers
Mr Boganette: Better than recycling
Me: This sucks. We can't drink bourbon, smoke and sit in the sun.
Mr Boganette: Why?
Me: Because when we're old we'll get liver cancer, lung cancer or skin cancer.
Mr Boganette: Or all three. And probably not even when we're old. Probably soon.
Me: It's not fair.
Mr Boganette: .....
Me: Science needs to speed up and fix shit (I'd had a few bourbons)
Mr Boganette: No. If science fixed that shit they'd be too many people. Nobody would die. The planet would be over populated and there would be too many people. (He'd had a few bourbons)
Me: I suppose
Mr Boganette: If we die from smoking or drinking or spending too much time drinking and smoking in the sun then the planet survives. We are saving the planet.
Me: Cheers
Mr Boganette: Better than recycling
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tatts + kitties = oddness
While watching a doco on that Rolling Stones concert in Rio I saw an ad for a new show on National Geographic channel.
It was pretty much a montage of massive dudes with heaps of tattoos and it was all "80 TATTOOS!" and big close ups of their tattoos and then it was something along the lines of 'But it's not what you think!!'
And then it showed one of the big tattooed guys snuggling a kitty.
And the show is called Rescue Ink. Seriously. Sigh.
Why do they have to pitch it like that? Like it's a big surprise that someone who has heaps of tatts likes kitties? What were we supposed to think? That it was a show for the Crime Channel?
But then I went on the website and I see that the stereotype IS the concept of the show. Well at least this quote seems to signal that:
“If you don’t like us from the way we look, we can’t help that. But if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem, so stay out of the way.”
— Joe Panz, Leader, Rescue Ink
It also says: In New York’s war on animal abuse, some of the worst offenders are pursued by a group of tattooed motorcycle-riding tough guys on a mission to save animals in danger*.
I kind of thought that whole 'people with tattoos are scary' myth was busted a while ago.
Maybe they just mean tough guys who ride motorbikes and have tattoos are scary but they're not really because they like kitties. I'm confused.
*good on them for sure. No disrespect to the "big tough guys" I just wonder about the concept of their show.
UPDATE: Look at that picture! LOL can't help it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
No Angel
I seriously hate angel wing tattoos. There's just something about them. They always look so awful. But I think these are the worst angel wings I've ever seen. They look like body hair.
Seriously have you ever seen *good* angel wings? The worst type are the tiny pink ones chicks get (see below). You couldn't fly with that shit could you? If I was going to get a shitty wings tattoo I would at least get ones big enough so they looked like they could carry my weight while I'm flying. Aye? Yep.
I know it's harsh to attack a certain type of tattoo but Hell I'm only human. And I bet ya'll out there in blogland have at least one type of tattoo you hate. What say you? Fairies? Those NZ or Aussie flag/star tattoos? Those moustache tattoos that people get on their fingers? Share the pain...I know there's certain types of tatts you hate.
Oh rosary bead tattoos. God I hate those. Actually I only hate them if they're placed on an ankle. When would you ever, EVER wear rosary beads on your ankle? I'm pretty sure it's blasphemous to put them on your feet. Or something.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A guide to Bogan culture
So it must be a slow news day because News.com.au has as their HEADLINE STORY free publicity for a shitty blog called 'What Bogans Like'. They're trying to say there's a new breed of Bogans and they *apparently* like Contiki tours and "Boost juice bars". These 'New Bogans' have also apparently swapped singlets for Ed Hardy tee-shirts because they're now 'cashed up'.
For a start no Bogan is 'cashed up'. If you have money you're not a Bogan. Simple. Any money you do have doesn't go towards designer clothing it goes towards concert tickets.
Bogans wear band tee-shirts in the winter and Holden singlets in the summer. Clothing preferences for Bogans are band tee-shirts (bought at the concert) and the free clothes you get when you buy heaps of booze. Today I'm wearing my Woodstock socks that I got free with the last doz I bought. Mr Boganette is today wearing his free Tui tee-shirt. He has about six or seven of them. I'm wearing an Airbourne tee-shirt I bought on their first tour of NZ and my jeans. That is what Bogans wear.
If a Bogan is cold they'll wear either a polar fleece with a trade logo on it or a motorcycle jacket. Bogans don't actually own motorcycles though. Bogans drive Hondas. But they would prefer to drive Holdens. If a bogan owns more than one car one of them is a ute. Bogans have no sense of shame about wearing their work clothes outside of work. Polos with 'Jim's plumbing' or 'Retail Electrical' etc on them are common among Bogans. The fact that the clothes are free and comfortable is a major draw-card.
Bogans wear their work boots. Boganettes wear black boots. The black boots are not heels. Boganettes do not wear heels. Boganettes dress for comfort. Tight black jeans are about as 'sexy' as a Boganette gets because a Boganette would never be comfortable in hipster clothes. A Boganette would only wear a mini if it was black and black leggings were worn underneath.
Bogans don't drink juice either. They drink bourbon. Any type of bourbon. If a bogan has some money left over after buying that week's concert ticket their bourbon preference would be for a box of Woodies. If they can't afford Woodies they will go for Bullets or Codys.
Bogans don't go on Contiki tours because Bogans don't travel overseas. The only time a Bogan travels is to go to a concert that isn't in their city. Or to go to Tauranga or Whangamata for New Years.
The bloggers also said New Bogans name their children shit like 'Armani' and 'Mercedes'. Bogans don't have children. When you have a child you cease to be a bogan because you have to be a grown-up. The whole point of Boganism is to live in arrested development. Bogans don't save for a house. They don't save at all. Their money goes towards concert tickets - all a Bogan needs in life is enough money to see both AC/DC shows. Should a Bogan have a child they wouldn't name them Armani because a Bogan shouldn't know who/what Armani is. And a Bogan would never name their child Mercedes. Ever. The only unusual Bogan names for children would be Lemmy or Bon. Or Lita for a girl. A Bogan may call their child Holden (and not the Catcher in the Rye Holden obviously).
Bogans are generally single because of the shortage of Boganettes. Bogans find it hard to bond with women who don't share their Bogan ways. One Bogan friend tests out potential mates my playing Iron Maiden Rock in Rio. If his potential mate doesn't get goosebumps while watching and commit to worshipping Maiden for life he can't forsee a future relationship.
Boganettes are rarely single because of said shortage. They tend to be snapped up rather quickly. Boganettes are quite lucky because they tend to get the best pick of the bunch. And Bogans commit quite readily - moving out of Mum's to live with a Boganette is an easy step for a Bogan. Un-attached Bogans tend to live at home until they meet a Boganette.
If you are looking for Bogans you will generally find them at concerts of the Bogan variety (AC/DC, Motorhead, Ozzy etc) and car shows/tattoo shows or you might catch a quick glimpse of them at The Mill, Pak n Save or The Warehouse. Bogans tend to congregate at the homes of coupled Bogans or in the garages of one of the Bogan's parents' places. They tend to stick with their chosen tribe of Bogans as town is too expensive and at home they can play their own superior music.
The only thing that's changed look-wise with Bogans is less mullets more shaved heads. And Golf seems to have taken over rugby as a Bogan sport.
Understanding Bogan life is simple. Because Bogans are simple beings who delight in simple things. They have worked out that there is nothing better in life than drinking Woodies with friends while talking about the secret meanings of Pink Floyd songs. I suppose the point of that site is to have a laugh at Bogans. But you can't laugh at Bogans because real Bogans know they're Bogans and they wouldn't have it any other way.
Things Bogans (really) like:
AC/DC
Poker
Wrestling
Guitar Hero
Golf
Cheap booze
Smoking areas at gigs
Free stuff
Live music
Lemmy
For a start no Bogan is 'cashed up'. If you have money you're not a Bogan. Simple. Any money you do have doesn't go towards designer clothing it goes towards concert tickets.
Bogans wear band tee-shirts in the winter and Holden singlets in the summer. Clothing preferences for Bogans are band tee-shirts (bought at the concert) and the free clothes you get when you buy heaps of booze. Today I'm wearing my Woodstock socks that I got free with the last doz I bought. Mr Boganette is today wearing his free Tui tee-shirt. He has about six or seven of them. I'm wearing an Airbourne tee-shirt I bought on their first tour of NZ and my jeans. That is what Bogans wear.
If a Bogan is cold they'll wear either a polar fleece with a trade logo on it or a motorcycle jacket. Bogans don't actually own motorcycles though. Bogans drive Hondas. But they would prefer to drive Holdens. If a bogan owns more than one car one of them is a ute. Bogans have no sense of shame about wearing their work clothes outside of work. Polos with 'Jim's plumbing' or 'Retail Electrical' etc on them are common among Bogans. The fact that the clothes are free and comfortable is a major draw-card.
Bogans wear their work boots. Boganettes wear black boots. The black boots are not heels. Boganettes do not wear heels. Boganettes dress for comfort. Tight black jeans are about as 'sexy' as a Boganette gets because a Boganette would never be comfortable in hipster clothes. A Boganette would only wear a mini if it was black and black leggings were worn underneath.
Bogans don't drink juice either. They drink bourbon. Any type of bourbon. If a bogan has some money left over after buying that week's concert ticket their bourbon preference would be for a box of Woodies. If they can't afford Woodies they will go for Bullets or Codys.
Bogans don't go on Contiki tours because Bogans don't travel overseas. The only time a Bogan travels is to go to a concert that isn't in their city. Or to go to Tauranga or Whangamata for New Years.
The bloggers also said New Bogans name their children shit like 'Armani' and 'Mercedes'. Bogans don't have children. When you have a child you cease to be a bogan because you have to be a grown-up. The whole point of Boganism is to live in arrested development. Bogans don't save for a house. They don't save at all. Their money goes towards concert tickets - all a Bogan needs in life is enough money to see both AC/DC shows. Should a Bogan have a child they wouldn't name them Armani because a Bogan shouldn't know who/what Armani is. And a Bogan would never name their child Mercedes. Ever. The only unusual Bogan names for children would be Lemmy or Bon. Or Lita for a girl. A Bogan may call their child Holden (and not the Catcher in the Rye Holden obviously).
Bogans are generally single because of the shortage of Boganettes. Bogans find it hard to bond with women who don't share their Bogan ways. One Bogan friend tests out potential mates my playing Iron Maiden Rock in Rio. If his potential mate doesn't get goosebumps while watching and commit to worshipping Maiden for life he can't forsee a future relationship.
Boganettes are rarely single because of said shortage. They tend to be snapped up rather quickly. Boganettes are quite lucky because they tend to get the best pick of the bunch. And Bogans commit quite readily - moving out of Mum's to live with a Boganette is an easy step for a Bogan. Un-attached Bogans tend to live at home until they meet a Boganette.
If you are looking for Bogans you will generally find them at concerts of the Bogan variety (AC/DC, Motorhead, Ozzy etc) and car shows/tattoo shows or you might catch a quick glimpse of them at The Mill, Pak n Save or The Warehouse. Bogans tend to congregate at the homes of coupled Bogans or in the garages of one of the Bogan's parents' places. They tend to stick with their chosen tribe of Bogans as town is too expensive and at home they can play their own superior music.
The only thing that's changed look-wise with Bogans is less mullets more shaved heads. And Golf seems to have taken over rugby as a Bogan sport.
Understanding Bogan life is simple. Because Bogans are simple beings who delight in simple things. They have worked out that there is nothing better in life than drinking Woodies with friends while talking about the secret meanings of Pink Floyd songs. I suppose the point of that site is to have a laugh at Bogans. But you can't laugh at Bogans because real Bogans know they're Bogans and they wouldn't have it any other way.
Things Bogans (really) like:
AC/DC
Poker
Wrestling
Guitar Hero
Golf
Cheap booze
Smoking areas at gigs
Free stuff
Live music
Lemmy
Thursday, October 29, 2009
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